Mid-life Crisis or Creative Catharsis?

diana crossman said...
You've nailed the years that alot of us feel minor to moderate turmoil! We are at year 17 [of marriage]. Being 6 years older (than Mark) is not always the way I'd prefer it, but it's what is. I feel there are a few things I've passed through--tho humbly and not with raging success--that he is now looking at. Anyway, I have a topic for you Mare. It's the one on my mind now. Where will I be in 10 years? What will occupy my time and thought? Do I have a vision for where I'd like to grow to? My girls will be gone. My job will be after me to retire...so what will I be doing? Let me know what you think...
September 13, 2009 10:33 PM

Dear Diana,

I had to repeat your question as a new post because you ask a BIG ONE. It brings up so much of what we are all wondering, on some level, what will be our value in the second act of our lives. I think it's a large question, floating in our subconscious minds and one that our culture responds to with endless anti-aging tonics. This is ignoring the question, at best. Of course there is money to be made by promoting an all out fear of aging. No wonder. It's much harder to determine what, if anything, to sell someone who is comfortable in their own skin. So, once again, the things of the world hold no wisdom for us and we are left to answer our own questions in the second act. I hope other soul sisters will weigh in on this one, since I'm convinced we hold all the answers in community with each other. Here are my thoughts on the matter.

While weathering hotflashes, fitful sleep, moodiness / rage / depression and foggy headed / memory loss, something absolutely marvelous has also been taking place within me these last few years. It wasn't altogether obvious. In fact, my first awareness of it came when I found myself out on an errand in my house sweats, hair in an upheaval and slippers on my feet. I was walking around town, well into my errands, before I even noticed my shabby attire. Then I realized that I didn't care; I didn't care who I might bump into, whose opinion really, honestly mattered that much to me. It felt, strangely, giddy. I even dared the universe to put someone in my path so I could test this newfound sense of liberation. But, the universe chose not to respond, at least that day. Over time, however, I noticed other shifts in my focus, shifts away from the external. I felt less and less constrained by past expections, real or imagined, from myself and especially from others.

Has this happend to you?

I'm not actively rejecting things of the world, but I do notice a natural decrease in my concern with them. Is this a universal experience? If so, what does it mean?


Our culture says, "cling to your past, youthful self." But mid-life takes us on a somewhat painful journey that seems to deliver us to ourselves, far beyond who we were. Our own voice is louder, even when we are quiet. I often find myself listening to the most interesting conversation in my head. I think the second act is a rich and fertile time for cultivating our unique gifts and talents and pursuing our passions. It is a second chance for those, who like myself, chose practical
careers in exchange for a comfortable life, postponed creative endeavors to raise children, kept quiet because we doubted our intelligence or undervalued our intuition.

This must be the crisis of midlife. The part of youself that demands to be expressed, to bring forth your creative piece of the puzzle. Until you do this, it festers inside and breeds discontentment. Why else would we naturally begin to disengage from external stimuli?

So, soul sister, my vision of you in the next 10 years, is nothing less than a creative catharsis. What shape that takes, what piece of the cosmic puzzle is yours to bring forth, that is a topic for another day.